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Archive for the ‘Comedy Block’ Category

Stop with the superstitions already!!!

OK now before I get started on the matter of why superstitions are dumb, allow me to list and explain what and where they come from. Now lets start off with the number 13. OOOHHH!!! Don’t be scared people, it’s just a number. I’ll admit a whole lot of bad stuff has happened according with the number but can you really blame a simple number for your inconveniences…No!. At least, not a logical personal could. See there are many different origins that can be related to the number 13. For example, biblical accounts claim that Judas, the alleged “betrayer” of Jesus, was the thirteenth person to sit down at “the last supper” shortly before Jesus was “crucified”. Also, supposedly Jesus was crucified on Friday(in correlation with the 13th). On Friday, October 13, 1307, King Philip IV of France ordered the arrests and murders of the Knights Templars. Over the centuries the fear of the number 13 has been deeply rooted into the human psyche. So…What’s the truth behind the infamous number 13? Well…This actually comes from our ancient ancestors, who were very enlightened people. To the Ancient Egyptians 13 was a very sacred number representing Enlightenment. See the Egyptians believed in the 12 steps of the path of evolution in the physical life. The 13th step was the final transcendence of the cycles of incarnation to achieve enlightenment. The number 13 also had significance to the Ancient Chinese. Just look at nature and you can see what they saw. There are 13 lunar cycles in a year and the path of the moon across the sky is over 13 degrees. So why is this number soooooo bad? I believe it was the misunderstanding of certain events, and because man has to have a reason for everything…He came up with one. But what can you do to counter this ol wives’ tale? Confront the superstition head-on.For example – if you are afraid of the number 13 or Friday 13, go and do things that include the number 13 and make Friday 13 a special day for activities with your family or friends.Celebrate Friday 13 with a meal or some other treat.Go to the shops on Friday 13 and purchase 13 of something, or purchase something that includes the number 13 in the price.If you are afraid of walking under a ladder then make an effort to go into town and walk under as many ladders as you encounter.If you are afraid of breaking a mirror then obtain a cheap mirror and break it – being careful not to cut yourself and disposing of the pieces safely where no one else can cut themselves.At first these actions might give rise to anxiety, apprehension or even fear, but nevertheless you must confront these emotions and continue regardless. For example whenever such an emotion arises, say firmly “”Cancel!, Cancel!, Cancel!” continuing until it dissipates.lol


Old people suck!! Seriously… Smh

Okay so check this out, my grandmother tells me to pull my pants up the other day. Now wait a minute I know what your thinking but my pants weren’t thaaaaaat low, and ya know I’m 20 years old so of course I dress like the rest of urban youth but I got my own style as well. Some days I like to sag a little, BIG DEAL. I don’t do it to the extreme. And on others days I like to have my pants up and dress prep. Given my grandma is like old enough to  have been there for the big bang, I can see how she’s stuck in her ways and a little old fashioned. And another thing… I’M A GROWN F#*&ING MAN AND I’LL WEAR MY PANTS HOWEVER THE F*&% I SEE FIT!!!!!! Now don’t get me wrong I got nothing but love for my grandma but at the same time she’s not going to run and rule what I do. When a man puts effort and time into something it is then his to have and do with whatever he wants to. Well I’ve worked hard hours at McDonalds for these jeans and I’m gonna wear’em how I want. It may seem petty but it’s my choice to be petty. So this goes out to you grandma. SHUT THE F&%$ UP!!!!!!!

ol lady

Is my dryer secretly a sock eating monster?

How does this happen? Every time, and I kid you not, I put a load of clothes in the dryer my socks come up missing. I’m so confused as to how this happens. I suspect the dryer is working for some top secret group trying to achieve world domination by eating people’s socks. I mean this is just horrible. My socks come out the washer just fine but when I put them in the dryer they never come back out. I’m sure I’m not the only guy who deals with this problem. If you think about it what’s a better way to take over the world then to eat everyone’s socks, I mean who wants cold feet. This is a fair warning to everyone out there, please watch your dryer. If there are signs of sock theft please contact the proper authority… Oh wait, the police might be on payroll. Okay don’t call the police just smash it to bits and hope that covert dryer ops aren’t coming for you.

Sock Monster